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Sales Team 9.00AM

Good Morning Team. It’s a make or break day for all of us. We are on the verge of creating a new milestone. If every one of you achieve your targets today, our team would be the highest revenue grosser in the company for a full financial year. Looking forward to be part of a historic team. All the very best.

Akshaya – Sales Manager 9.02AM

Hi Dhruv. Hope you will do the numbers today and won’t let me and team down. All the very best.

Sure Madam.

Kavya – 9.35AM

Good Morning Rishi

Hi Kavya…

Wat hapnd? Seem 2 b dull

Nope. Notin lik dat

Month & year end. Tgt prsure

Have to achieve else gone

Hmmm…I’m sure you will do it.

Don’t frgt…we are meeting up 2day…

How can I…waiting for this day…

At last after so many chat sessions and pestering you have agreed to meet up for the 1^st time…

All excited

Me too

Come with good news…

Meeting you is a good news… wat more do you want…

I want to meet you as a successful and happy person when I see u….

What time???

Evening 4???

Yep..

Wer?

Nungmbkm CCD???

Perfect… I can finish cln8 meetin n cum thr n thn head 2 office…

Me too..can go to office after dat…

Ciao…

Vivek 10.15AM

Machi…GM

Got up???

Yes da..long bak

Saw Mngr msg???

Yes..did you get her private msg not to let the team down??

Yeah… think we two are only 1 to get it…

Hmmm…spl msg to non achievers… 

Wat do you think…will you do your numbers???

Hopefully…client askd to come at 11.30…Lets c…

Wat about u??

Very bleak…

Have to try new job…

Will catch up later in the day…

Sales Team – 12.15AM

Hi Guys & Gals… We are fast approaching the magical figure…Only Vivek and Dhruv to report their numbers…I’m sure they will do it... Let’s wish them success…

Akshaya – Sales Manager – 12.17PM

Dhruv… yet to get update from you…hope you will close your targets…Don’t let us down…

Hi Mam… Will update you shortly…

Will not let the team down…

Vivek – 12.45PM

Dude…Good news

Got the order frm de client…hurray…

Congrats man…happy for you…

Thnx dude…don’t have to worry about the job for next 3 months…

I will sponsor the drink 2day…

Thnx man…at least I’m sure about a drink today J

BTW wat hapend?? Are u meetin her 2day??

Yeah @4…

Great dude..all the best…

Kavya – 1.30PM

Had lunch??

Nope..not in a mood L

Y? Not done your numbers??

Nope

More than that the Mngr is sending nagging msgs…

Grrr….

Don’t worry you still have 2 hrs??? Miracles do happen

I doubt…no miracles hapnd in my life yet…

Cheer up Rishi…v r meetin 2 day…dats a miracle…

Oh yeah…

Fine then have your lunch…will meet up at 4…

Sure

Bye

Smartech – 1.45PM

Hi Sir…

Your boss has come??

Hi Dhruv…Not yet… might come at 3.30PM

What do you think?? He will place the order today???

Dunno…he doesn’t reveal to us…but he is fine with the proposal…

Hmmm… dis is wat he says for the past 3 months…

All my hopes are pinned on him…

Don’t worry…If he has committed, he will do it…but takes time…

Don’t know whether I will be in job when he takes the decision L

C u at 3.30

Sales Team – 2.30PM

we are only 1 member short of reaching our milestone…Dhruv we all are with you…

Akshaya – 2.35PM

My boss has given an ultimatum till 6PM. You either do before that or you know what you have to do…Update me

Sure mam… Will not let you down... thanks for supporting till now

Kavya – 3.45PM

Hi Rishi…

Am leaving office now…

Will catch you at CCD

Me in a black knee length skirt and white shirt…

Eager to see you… J

Smartech – 3.55PM

Sir…I’m waiting downstairs of your office…inform me once he comes…

Sure…

Lots at stake for me today…

Kavya – 4.15PM

Hellooooo

You ther???

Waiting for you…

Smartech – 4-45PM

He has come…you can go and meet him now

Thnx

Kavya – 5.15PM

Waited all this while…

Going back 2 office…

Understand that you have your own work…

Are we destined to meet??? will pray for you...
Bye

Sales team – 5.45PM

Hurray…Record set…

Though Dhruv missed it, thanks to other team members we made it….

Let’s celebrate…party starts at 7PM…venue – The Park – Nungambakkam…

Akshaya – 5.47PM

You disappointed not only me but the entire team...
Expected knowing your track record...hence kept some buffer in others target...
Sorry to disappoint the team and also to let you down in front of others...
I have decided to quit...Will send a formal resignation letter tomorrow

Vivek – 5.50PM

Sad to know you missed to make it dude...better luck next time..
Are you coming for the party...

No da…

It's OK dude..comon chill out.. theres always a next time...
btw did you meet her

nope..missed that too

Hmmm...but come for the party for sure...Akshaya asked me to call you and tell not to miss the party...
Fine..Let me think about it...

Akshaya – 8.15PM

Hi Dhruv…you seem to b dull…

No Mam…I’m fine…

Is it bcoz of you missed to do your numbers

Not only that...

Then??? Consider me as your good friend.. let me know if you are comfrtble…

Nothin particular…was supposed 2 meet my girl today for 1^st time… didn’t hapen…

Cheer up…same thing hapend 2 me too today…

He promised 2 come @4pm today 2 CCD but ditched me… he too had to achieve his tgt 2day… …told him earlier to meet me as a successful and happy guy…think he didn’t

Don’t tell this in office…thought will share with you Dhruv…

Miracles do happen Kavya…you can call me Rishi...
OMG...Can't believe this...
Fine...So Mr. Rishi you have to work hard...
Dhruv... I'm going to miss you...you are going to be transferred to Coimbatore with immediate effect...

Sure Mam...will not let you down...and I mean it Akshaya..
Happy New Year Dear...
Now with you in my life..It will be a happy new year Kavya....

Timeless Priceless

There are certain instances which you cherish forever. One such incident happened to me too. I started getting adjusted to the hostel life and my surroundings. Slowly I got friends from other rooms. One of the guy taught me smoking after my repeated request. I could see myself getting elated to a different league in the hostel. The league had some 10 guys who use to smoke, drink & play cards.

We all used to go back home every weekend and come back cash rich on Monday. It was our ritual to go out on the same day evening and get drunk. The hostel gates used to close by 9pm sharp so we had to rush back to hostel before time to escape from the warden. Since the hostel didn’t had any other route we were forced to come before time. But this was not giving us any kick and was looking for a route to reach the hostel whenever we wanted. Thanks to one of the member in the gang he found a route which will lead to the hostel mess from where we can go to our room directly. But it was an adventurous route, we had to crawl 15 mts in a 2 by 2 canal and then open a door to the hostel mess. All this we had to do without any noise and before any of the mess guys wake up. Once this route was found we had a fabulous time. Since the hostel was in a remote village, the bus service will stop by 8.30pm, but we didn’t mind walking 5 kms. If at all we get tired we used to sleep on a cemetery which is on the way.

One day we got the shocking news that actress cum vamp cum dream girl of tamil cinema “Silk” Smitha committed suicide. I and one more guy went for a drink to console ourselves. We went to a hotel and had our drink. We were so disappointed with the news and were drinking non stop till they closed the hotel. Only when the bill came we realized that we were short of 100rs. We were in a fix and for both of us, this was the first time we were facing such a situation. Soon I removed my wrist watch and handed over to the hotel owner, stating that I will get back from him the next day after paying the due. This entire incident was truly “Time – less and Price – less”

Class Apart (1996 – 1997)

The fun of college started only when I started going to my class regularly. Our batch was the 3rd batch of the college so there was less than 500 students in the campus. My class had some 25 guys and 3 gals(Not to mention how beautiful they are). I was curious to know what the subjects that will be taught. Not because I learnt from my mistake of 12th standard but to gauge when I might complete my degree. I was happy to know there were no math and no practical. This itself meant that I don’t have to break my brain on figuring out what is dy/dx (I haven’t figured that even now) and also that I don’t have to fear any of my lecturers for internal marks.

All I had to learn was accounts. Having passed out 12th I thought this wouldn’t be a major issue. My first semester had some basic accountancy as core paper and economics. After 1 month of class I couldn’t understand the basics of accountancy. So I went for tuition to understand the subject. I went dutifully for 3 days. Then I thought what am I doing to myself? Am I in college or school? Its high time I move out of this school syndrome and become a hard core college student who doesn’t care about results. Above all I didn’t pass my 12th to be geek.

Just a day before my first semester accounts exam I asked my friend to teach me accounts and how to solve the problem? He gave me the biggest insight which I still think is the easiest and most convenient way to solve complex accounts problems. He said draw a straight line and divide your answer sheet into two. Whatever the money goes out prefix with “TO: and whatever comes in prefix with “BY” . “TO” to be written on the left side and “BY” on the right side. Tally both the side, whichever is lesser add the difference amount and mention that as balance carry forward.

My exams got over without much pain. I attempted or rather solved the entire problem as my friend had taught me. Though I didn’t care much about my results but back of the mind I always had this urge to know about my accounts results. The day result was announced I fainted. Even I couldn’t take the shock of me getting through the financial accounting exam. Out of the 5 papers I wrote I flunked only in economics. I was super duper elated. Even my fellow classmates and hostel mates applauded me for the brilliance I had and how quickly a science student could learn accounts that too without going for tuitions.

Post my results I never really cared about any subjects. The second semester had a bit higher version of financial accounting. But by now I knew to solve any accounts problem with ease. My second semester results made me to realize that it’s not all that easy to clear the exams every time. Though the college was 3 year old and didn’t had much history, I created one. This was revealed to my mom by my lecturer when she was asked personally to collect the mark sheet. I was the first person in the history of college to score less than 15 marks in financial accounting. I had another feather added to my cap; I also flunked again in the economics paper.

Hey by the way landmarks have to be broken that’s the challenge thrown in front of any champion. But for now I’m a CLASS APART.

Back 2 Square 1(1996)

I landed up at home that evening after my jailbreak. My parents were stunned to see me so soon. They laughed at me and offered me 2 options. 1. Join a college in salem and be a days scholar or 2. Go back to Kongu. Both of which is like taking a bitter pill. For about a week I was contemplating and then decided on option 2. I consoled myself saying though it’s a jail, its far away from home and my destination on the next jailbreak would not be my home.

I landed up at the hostel after 10days time. By then my roommates (Dinesh & Yuvaraj) had come and they were giving me a weird look. I explained what had happened and settled in my bed. I introduced myself and checked about their circumstance landing up here. I was hoping they also carried the same sentiments about this college and hostel. Dinesh was super duper delighted to be here because he comes from even more remote village and this was what he was looking forward to. Yuvaraj had this insane look and informed that all through his schools he had been in hostel and it doesn’t make any difference to him. I kicked myself to be in such a place with a geek after all this ordeal.

My life was mechanized, getting up at 6am and wait in the toilet queue then get bathed in cold water, dress up by 6.30, reach the mess by 7am to have steaming cold bricks (idly) and coloured water (sambhar), go back to room, queue up for the college bus, come back at 1 for lunch, then back to college and then back to room by 4.30pm, take rest till the senior knocks the door for ragging. The college being strict, even some of the day scholar seniors will land up in the hostel to rag us. 5 to 7.30 and 9 to 12 was entertainment time. That’s when we will be ragged individually and then in groups.

Every time we see a senior we have to catch our cock and jump up to salute them. They also composed an anthem that we have to sing and then salute the way as mentioned when we are called up for group ragging. The funniest was when my department senior landed up in the hostel to rag us, me and dinesh were asked to bend and turn opposite side, then to lock each others hands through the legs and run around the hostel barking like a dog. Though it was painful, it was hilarious to run in the corridor as a dog. I was informed that we have to go through all this for 2 months and we will be given a welcome party.

In this 2 months I did everything from mono acting, barking like a dog, running almost nude, swimming in the verandah, playing imaginary cricket, dancing, singing, dog fight and the list goes on. It was funny to see some of my hostel mates crying while doing such things. Since I didn’t have any other choice than to go through all this I started liking it.

The fun didn’t stop here…I had something more in store in my classes.

Jail Break(1996)

A letter from college mentioned about the class start date and details on joining the hostel. This is the first time I will be staying out of my house. Though thrilled it is also sad to leave my parents and stay in a different place. I motivated myself thinking that hostel will be an amazing place and I can have all the fun as shown in the movies.

My parents did all the shopping required for the hostel stay. We reached one day in advance before the college started. My parents & my sister came to drop me and they left after I settled my luggage and bed. The hostel was in the engineering college campus. Barren lands, Pine trees, bushes and one hut selling tea and cigarettes; this is what I could see from the hostel. The nearest main road was 3 kms away and we have to walk that distance to catch a local bus, which crosses that place every 2 hours. Bathroom and toilet were common for all but maintained well. My room will have 3 people including me. So I was waiting to see my roommates. All I wished was to have like-minded guys coz bare minimum I had to stay there for 1 year.

Ragging is quite usual and I was prepared for that. Infact my neighbor’s cousin (Arvind) was also studying here. A message was passed to him about my arrival and to take care of me from ragging. I was eagerly waiting for my senior’s arrival. A bus reached and around 50 guys got down and walked in a line like school kids going to zoo. All were dressed in either stripes or plain shirt and wearing sandals. I could sense my dream of a college hostel life slowly shattering but on the other side I was happy that these guys will not be ragging me.

Mine was the first room in that floor and near to the steps. I stood at my room’s entrance wearing a blue jean and a funky t-shirt. I stopped one guy and asked for Arvind. He didn’t stop nor he answered but all the guys gave me a weird look. I was wondering what had happened and thought these seniors are amused to see person in a funky t-shirt in their campus. After sometime a guy knocked my room, I opened the doors and without even bothering to ask my permission he entered my room and sat in a cot. He was looking like a Ugandan wearing a lungi and baniyan. He checked with me why I was enquiring him only then I realized he is Arvind my savior. I coolly sat in front of him cross-legged and introduced myself. I explained the reason to meet him and reminded him about the phone call he got from my neighbor. He jus nodded and when I finished my introduction he gave me one dirty look and screamed, “how dare you can stand in front of me”.

My supposed to be savior was the first person to rag me. Then I got to know from him that I would be the most targeted because staying in the first room. His words turned out to be true and guys who were double the size of mine to the size of my little finger that night ragged me. After all that I entered the mess to have my dinner. That’s when I decided next day come what may I will bunk the class post lunch and will run back to my home. I was served with tomato rice (deep dried) that looked as if people staying were convicts and deserved this kind of food. I came back to my room and ate bananas to fill my stomach. The ragging continued till late night and we also had a half naked parade that night in front of all the seniors. We were given strict instructions to have bath before any of the seniors wake up.

Next day morning we all stood in the line like prisoners taken for mine work. The bus took us to the college; I had little hope that the campus will be more colourful with some good chicks around. This time too I was disappointed to see gals in pavadai thavani in bright colours, oiled hair and flowers on their head. My class was even worse, out of the 30 in total only 3 gals were there and of which one was the size of a barrel and other of a bamboo stick clad in a green and white chudidhar. I cursed myself and determined that come what may, I should escape from this rural India by lunchtime. As soon as we reached hostel I packed my bag and started walking the 3 kms stretch to catch a bus to my city.

This 3 kms stretch is now teaching me a lesson for not studying well and scoring marks. But more than that what hurts me is my school classmate who scored less marks are now admitted in hep colleges in “CITY”. I was so damn dejected that I literally ran 3 kms to catch the local bus to liberate myself from the jail.

Bye Bye Kongu.

Engineering Dreams

Living in the past - year 1996...

Today I got admission papers for my graduation. After my results I got my mark list from the school after a week. I scored 84 each in physics & mathematics and 78 in chemistry. My parents & friends were shocked when they came to know. All they thought was I would fail my 12th standard or even if I pass I would have scored only just pass marks. Only after sometime they realized all these marks were out of 200 and what they predicted was right. I was happy atleast for one reason that is of living to their expectation.

Like any middle class Indian parents dream, my parents also wanted my sister to become a Doctor and myself an Engineer. My sister went for all the tuitions dutifully and even wrote entrance exam for medicine. Fortunate for me she also scored lesser marks. My parents were content that though she couldn’t do a five-year medicine course why not a course for same period and she joined a law college. So all their hope rested on my shoulders. I was already over burdened with my subjects, friends, broken proposal so I couldn’t do justice to them. But trust me I had the conviction to say that I will not join for engineering entrance coaching or will write the entrance exam.

I had my own plans for graduation. I wanted to join in one of the colleges in Chennai or Banglore and do business administration. I was hell bent that I will not join a college in salem itself. Because I know if I join here I cant bunk classes or go on trips as I wish and moreover Salem is such a small place for me. My parents were behind me to join in salem itself and they promised me to get a car to got college if I join here. All my demands went for a toss when my marks came and I had no tool to fight for my right.

I could see my parent’s dream of making me an engineer collapse after seeing my marks. But my dad is more determined than me. He was hell bent that he will put into one engineering college come what may. He used all his contacts to get me an engineering seat I any college paying whatever capitation fee. He was not ready to hear my reasons. 2 days back he asked all of us at home to get ready. I thought he is going to take us for an excursion but after 2 hours journey we reached an engineering college on the outskirts of a village. I leave it to your imagination of how that place would look like.

We entered the principal room and informed about my dad’s wish. He asked 3 basic questions 1. Do I have eligible marks to apply for an engineering seat? 2. Whether I have written entrance exam 3. Whether we have money to afford the education? Since we were accompanied by one of the college trustees relative he excused for asking us the last question. I believe that guy would have cursed all gods for putting him in a position like this and seeing my marks. He straightaway rejected my application. Except for me everybody were disappointed. But because of strong recommendation he agreed to give me a civil engineering seat and asked us to pay 5 lacs.

As soon as we left the room I fell on dad’s feet and pleaded him not to put me in an engineering college and particularly in this hell of a place. I also gave him the reason of why I would not join for engineering. I said if I join then it will take minimum of 1 decade for me to complete the course. He accepted my request. But my happiness was short lived. Soon he checked whether there is an arts college with the same group. We went to the arts college principal room on knowing that they have an arts college too. There I was asked to fill up a form with all details and my preferred course. I dutifully filled up for Business Administration. The principal looked at my marks and then suggested rather ordered that all I could join is only for a course called Corporate Secretaryship. I looked at my dad he was in no mood to request him or use his recommendation for getting me the course I preferred.

He informed us to pay meager admission fee of 10K and join the college immediately as all seats are filling up already. I came out and told my dad that the course what he offered was of no use to me and if we ask for this course in other colleges the principal will fall on our feet and give us admission. But this time my words were falling on a deaf ear. He didn’t hesitate for a minute and went straight to the payment counter and paid for the course.

Now I realize the cost of getting such marks. I see myself in a remote village in India studying for a course that I haven’t heard in my life. All I now pray for is a good set of classmates with similar mindset and some colorful girls.

Oh god please save me….

On Cloud Nine

Living in the past - year 1996...

I’m on cloud nine today. Its not because of I got another girl or my love got accepted. Today is even more special. I cleared my 12th standard. What an awesome feeling it is.

After my 10th standard all the people whom me and my parents knew asked me to join group 1 for my higher secondary course which is a combination of Maths, Physics, Chemistry & Comp.Sci saying I can join an engineering college after that. But none listened to my argument for joining commerce group. With no choice left I joined the science group aspiring to be an engineer and fulfill my parents dream.

In the first 2 months itself I realized its not my cup of tea. And for these 2 years I have been trying to figure out how to clear my 12th standard public exams. But I was confident taht I will do it somehow. So I went all out to enjoy the final 2 years of school days in my life. This is the phase where I started bunking school and going for movies, had my first peg of rum and did what all a teenager could do except for sex.

Public exams started and unlike others chasing for answers I went chasing for question papers. I was damn happy when I got the question papers of mathematics, physics & chemistry. I was shocked to see the actual question papers didn’t even had single word of what was there which I had bought paying through my nose. I was left with nothing but to copy from my fellow classmates. Believe me copying in a public exam is tougher than usual school exams. I managed it for my physics exam. For chemistry exam the supervisor who came in was reincarnation of Mahatma Gandhi, she didn’t even allow anyone of us to breath. So I had to manage with my own equations which I knew if experimented would lead to explosion of the chemistry lab. Somehow I was confident because all I had to score was 20 marks in the theory exam. Mathematics is a subject where I have to score 70 marks through theory and that’s a very tough ask.

I still remember that day and I’m sure that particular 3 hours will not erase from my memory till my death. I entered the exam hall hoping the question paper what they going to distribute should be the same, which I got from black market. To my dismay this time also I was cheated. I called all the lords on earth, heaven and in the universe to help me clear this exam. My prayers was answered, my classmate Singaravel gave his answer sheets to copy and the supreme god for me that day or for that matter rest of my life will be the supervisor who allowed us to copy. After the exam like a true devotee I went and literally fell on his feet thanking him.

For the past 2 days I didn’t sleep properly fearing the results. Today morning when the results came in my number was there in the list of candidates cleared board exam in second class. I was damn happy and thrilled. Straight I went to my dad and said him I cleared my 12th standard. He was so excited like me and said, “ If passing the board exam is this easy even I would have done my 12th “. He gave me the permission to take my friends to the club for treating them.

I want to enjoy this success for another 2 days and then look forward to my college admission. I’m on cloud nine is not only because I passed but today is the first time I finished quarter bottle of rum all alone. What a wonderful feeling to be here…wish I could be here always…

First Heart Break

Living in the past - year 1995...

I wish I could change my face from tomorrow. I feel so awkward because today is the first time ever a girl said no to my love. Padmapriya is couple of years junior to me. She is in her 10th standard, fair, good looking and have all the attributes of a tamil Brahmin girl.

She is sister of my childhood day’s classmate. I don’t know when I started liking towards her. The entire stuff started because of peer pressure. Most of my classmates have a girl friend and me alone with none made me felt like left out in the gang.

We both use to go for physics tuition to one place. I started observing her from then. One day I decided yeah she is the girl for me. From then I started following her in my moped. One day I started speaking to her and she also responded. How foolish I’m to think that she likes me.

This was going on for 6 months. I decided today I would let her know my feelings. Before meeting her I told to my fellow classmates who encouraged me to go ahead. Couple of them accompanied me till half way. My heart was pumping faster than usual. I did not know how to start the topic. I went straight to her and said I LOVE YOU…

She was damn cool and replied “Sorry, You are like my brother”. Oh god I felt as if someone had hit me so hard on my face. I left that place and straight headed to the hotel where my friends were eagerly waiting. All of them made fun of me hearing what she said.

Sitting in my bedroom now I realize I shouldn’t have told her at all or for that matter to my friends. How come I thought she also loves me? I don’t know how to face her and my classmates tomorrow. I know my looks will not change over night. Hoping there is someone made for me let me go to sleep…

Going Back

All I blog is only on the current events. I was just wondering how it would be if I go back 12 – 15 years in my life and start blogging from that phase of my life.

Bye Bye 2008...

Smoking Ban – Amazing Initiative

It’s been 2 months since my last post. These 2 months I was absolutely free but because of laziness I haven’t updated my blog. There were quite a few incidents that hampered me like serial bomb blast, community clashes, ganguly’s retirement and much more.

But for me to write now is on the latest rule on smoking ban in India. What a noble initiative by our health minister. Hats off to him for coming up with such an idea. With over 40% of the population into this habit and the remaining 60% of people getting affected is a crime. Even though I’m a frequent smoker I want to show my sincere gratitude to our health minister atleast through my blog.

Being a politician I would appreciate if he says that anyone smoking shouldn’t vote for him. If he does like that then the entire world will applaud him for such an initiative. But Im sure he will not say that in his lifetime. All these initiatives are just eyewash to get more votes in the next elections.

Ideal Husband

I have been married for 2.5 years now and for all this while I have been trying to figure out what makes to be an ideal husband. The same question I have raised with my fellow colleagues, friends and whomsoever I have met. All they say is please let me know when you figure it out.

I believe the below mentioned elements make one to be an ideal husband

· Say good morning honey as soon as you wake up and say she looks beautiful (even though she is not)
· Have a cup of coffee/tea with your spouse.
· Share the early morning work of cooking, bathing your kid, feeding them, getting them ready to school, help yourself to have breakfast.
· Give a hug and plant a kiss on her forehead when you are leaving for work irrespective of whether you are late or not for work.
· As soon as you reach office, give her a call and inform about it. Do not forget to call her asking whether she had lunch and how you liked the lunch, she prepared and call twice in a day to say I LOVE YOU and how you miss her.
· Stick to the law of 8 hours working and finish your work by that. The travel time back to home should not exceed an hour. Keep her updated on the time you have left office.
· Pick up a bunch of roses (preferably red) on the way to home and say you missed her and longed to meet her.
· Notice the changes she has made in house however small it might be and compliment her taste on interiors and house keeping.
· Inform what all happened at office including whether the printer was working or not, what is the latest gossip in office. Never think this will be relevant to her or not.
· Play with your kid and help them in finishing their homework.
· Whether you like it or not watch the tv soaps and reality shows together and never ever think of switching to sports or news channels.
· Compliment her on the dinner she made and the efforts she has taken to make it.
· Hug and smooch her before going to bed.
· Weekends are a strict no no to work. So join a company which has 5 day working pattern..
· Saturdays are for picnic, shopping, amusement parks, movies and should end with a dinner at a hotel.
· Sundays are holidays, so no early morning coffee or breakfast. Order lunch from outside and watch a movie at home. A candle lit dinner is a must on Sundays.
· Every 3 months a trip to a holiday spot and if possible an abroad trip once in a year is compulsory.
· Surprise her with gifts every now and then. Birthday and anniversary dates should be on top of your mind and should accompany with lavish gifts.
· Drinking and smoking is sin. Your friends are her foes. Workplace will have women’s but you should not speak to them.
· Her friend’s family is your family friends. A visit to one of their house every fortnight is mandatory.
· She should handle finance

I hope most of my friends who are trying to be an ideal husband would agree with these guidelines. I have tried some of these guidelines at some point in time and have seen favorable results. Nevertheless, I find it difficult to follow the entire set of rules/guidelines. If anyone of you are following this or going to try this, please let me know the changes in your marital life. So that I can also try this and be an ideal husband.

I’m sure any woman sees this will disagree with me saying don’t restrict our expectation in these 20 points. All I would request from them is first let us follow these guidelines and later on raise your standards.

Salvation Ground

Any mallu will not be a complete person if he hasn’t gone to the gulf at least once. Such is the hype for that place and dubai is the destination for any keralite. Therefore, because of sheer pressure I had to go to this place and get my passport stamped to get my salvation. Being in sales the only advantage is we get incentive trips to across the world and I was waiting for one such opportunity to grab.

Exactly 45 days back when my company announced such a trip, my only goal was to qualify for it come what may. I traveled across tamilnad to meet clients and convert each one to reach my final destination. Thanks to my teammates, I qualified for the event and got my tickets booked.

Coming from a middle class family boarding a flight to any location itself is a great thing, and I wished at some point in my life I have to travel by Emirates. Its just because I had heard from others that’s the best airline in the world and I was fortunate enough to get booked in that. My wife coming from an airline industry she gave me lectures on how they do the check in and baggage. After a period of 45 days my dream came to reality when I boarded the flight to dubai.

It’s a city, which is not even half the size of chennai, but everything is world class. High rise buildings, shopping malls, pubs, high end cars and the list goes on.I had a fabulous time out there and had loads of fun activity which deserves another blog.

Now that I touched the land of salvation for a mallu and have become a complete keralite, I can make visits to kerala with pride. However, the buzzword now is US and that doesn’t seems to be far away. Hoping to meet BUSH soon.

April fool

April 1st is a fool’s day for various reasons. One reason is for the income you get. I earn a decent salary and I do not mind paying tax to the development of my country. However, the tax calculation always fools me by deducting 70% of the month’s salary in April.

I pay taxes for everything right from my hair cut to the beer I have at night. I think the government should come up with “linked tax paying system” wherein an individual will be taxed 20% of his CTC. The individual should have option of getting it deduct from salary or he should do all his spends through debit/credit card which will have his PAN(permanent account number). At the end of financial year a consolidated report will be made to see whether he paid 20% tax or not, if not the remaining amount will be deducted in his salary. By doing this all transaction will be accounted and more tax can be collected and we can eradicate black money from the market.

Hope such kind of a scenario comes soon and I am fooled for some other reason next April.

Rainy Days

It is an awesome feel to look at early morning drizzles through the window and sipping on hot cup of tea. I also love to drive during these times listening to some soft romantic numbers. Thanks to some cyclone formation, I am enjoying this for the past one week. I have my office on the 10th floor on a seaside. It’s a picturesque view from here when it rains.

I hope everybody loves rain and the pleasant weather. I have my own preference on a rainy day. I want myself to be in a cottage of a hill station amidst thick forest with mist covered. As I sit on the balcony on a wooden chair keeping my legs above the wooden rails the drizzles should wet my feet. To bring some warmness to my body and soul I need a bottle of old monk rum. As I sip the liquor listening to the chirping of birds and some soft romantic numbers there should be steaming smashed tapioca and spicy fish curry to enthrall my stomach. I can sit for hours together and enjoy if I get such an atmosphere.

I wish that such dreams come true and I would cherish every second of it.

29 inches happiness

I had gone to my hometown on the en-route of my official tour. My parents were not in thick of their health, my friends wedding and many other reasons were there for my visit.

There we have a CTV, which is a decade old that had been entertaining my folks. They had no grudge on this even though the colour was not up to the mark and images were blurred. Since I have a flat screen model where I live now has better quality in terms of picture and sound. As I was watching the TV at home, thought would buy a new one for my parents because they deserve it. I picked up the local daily to check out any offer was available. There was an advertisement of a TV dealer with no discounts/offers. However, that did not stop me from my decision of buying a new one.

I told my wife about the surprise gift for my parents, she was as thrilled as I was. We called up the showroom to exchange the old TV. The guy reached our place to check the status and fixed the price. Only then, my mom came to know about it. She was damn excited and was happy that her son is doing something for them, which they also were also planning. She called up my dad to inform this and asked him to come to the showroom to choose the TV he wants. In the next 2 hours a brand new 29 inches flat screen TV replaced our old entertainer.
I could see the happiness in the face of my parents. I was proud of myself on that day and gave a pat to myself for thinking on the lines of my parents. I wish I could surprise them with many more such gifts and bring happiness to their life.

One day FM

Sorry, for taking such a long break to post my next blog. The main reason to post now is not to leave the month empty. Today while driving to office I heard on FM Radio of “what you will do if you were Finance Minister for a day?” hmmm sounds interesting to be one actually.

I am very bad when it comes to handling finances. I get a decent pay now but the condition on the month end is same as when I was earning 6 times lesser than now. Therefore, me being a FM for a day would be doomsday for India. Even if I do become my list will be not more than ten points.

· Income Tax at flat 10% for individuals, 15% for SME’s, 20% of Indian corporate houses and 25% for any International joint venture company.
· Service Tax at 10%
· Cut down intrest rate for home loans to 5%
· Funding for building schools, hospitals, bridges and roads in rural areas also tax benefits for companies indulging in the project.
· Increase pay scale for all government employees as per the commission’s recommendation (this is to stop corruption).
· Tax benefits for SEZ that comes in areas not feasible for farming.

A lot more to be done to achieve the desired GDP and for that I have to be a FM for 5 years. But for now I have to do my monthly target to have a stable finance and minister it.

Anniversary

Come Jan 8th will be my second wedding anniversary. What an eventful two years it has been. How fast the years are passing by. Still I can remember that eventful day when I got up from bed with the overnight smell of bacardi rum. I was supposed to go back to the hotel where my parents were staying, but decided against it and thought will spend that night marrying around with friends since that being my last day as a bachelor. As usual, I got up late and rushed to the hotel to bath and dress up for that long day. Likewise I had to rush to the temple where we had the traditional thaali kettu(holy knot). My poor wife was waiting in the temple for me to reach without knowing that it is only a beginning and such late comings are integral part of my life.

Our journey started from there. Like everybody, we also planned for our honeymoon, which started from Mauritius to Kodaikanal. However, our honeymoon trip was to a small hill station near my hometown where before my wedding I go to have a cup of tea. Therefore, for me it was not that fascinating and our trip got over in half a day. God believe me the crib started from then and my wife cribs now for each and everything. In one month, I got the most amazing news of my lifetime that my wife is pregnant.

One thing that fascinates my wife even today is going out. Wake her up even in middle of night and ask her to get ready for a drive, she will be the first to be in the car and ask where are we going. I don’t know from where she gets the energy for non stop roaming. Even while she was pregnant, she had traveled along with me to hyderabad, madurai, cochin, alleppy. We got our cute little kid exactly in nine months from our wedding. The moment was the most precious and still fresh in my mind. I sat next to my wife with the kid and she had the effect of anesthesia on her, still she opened her eyes and kissed the kid and me.

She joined me in chennai with our 3-month-old child, where we actually started living together. Only then, I realized a woman could make a home. She is such a person who will always keep the house neat and clean. In the past one year of living together, she had brought in lots of changes to my life, from an alcoholic to an occasional drinker, a frequent smoker to non-smoker, saving money etc. I admire her for the care she takes to prepare different dish everyday to impress me. Its not that we had a smooth run, we had our own share of fight which will end up only after couple of days with me taking her out again for a dinner. Most of the times, I use to think I would have been happy if not married.
All said and done we have completed two successful years of married life. This could be possible for one simple reason, pure love she has to me, and I love her for that.

Molested by media

For the past two days media especially television media is going gong ho about two girls molested by 70 odd guys in mumbai. This has become the national news with sms and online polls, debates and talk shows.

My point is not on what led to the incident but why such things are being highlighted and made as a national news. There were photographs published in newspapers and shown on television. My question to all of them is, if the journalist/photographer wanted to help the woman why cannot he do without taking a photograph.

By publishing the photo and making it such a big news the victims suffered more than what they would have gone through that night. Now a one-hour horror has become a lifetime sorrow for the victims. Wont they realize that by publishing, such photographs the victims and their relatives will get hurt more than the offenders will. If the same incident had happened to their kith or kin whether these media houses will publish that too?

By displaying this full time, the victims who wanted to forget such an incident had to file a complaint. The police to safeguard their face have now arrested some 7 offenders. I am sure the guys arrested would not have been anywhere around the incident place. Ask media houses why they did all this, they will reply in unison that only because of the th police had taken up the case and now the culprits are caught. If that was the motive, the journalist should not have published the photo at all. He should have filed a complaint against the offenders and shown the photographs to the police. This would have helped the police to get the real culprits before they go under cover.

Wait, the worst is yet to come. Today I saw the interview of the victim. The victim reported that she is upset for what has been reported in the media and worried that such things are published in big way. The interviewer being a psych asked whether she will go out for new year parties again? It’s like asking whether you liked to get raped again by us. I think the victim should file a case of molestation against all the media companies, which had taken up this issue.

This is a classic case of operation success patient died.

Resolution

Every New Year for the heck of it I take resolutions, which are broken on the same day or to the maximum of two weeks. Then I will wait for the next year to come for announcing my resolution plans. Like every year the first on the list will be to quit smoking and the same will figure in the first to break. This year also I have taken three resolutions

Not to smoke
Start a recurring deposit in my child’s name
Start a SIP

It has been two days since I have smoked one. I had been to the bank, collected form for deposit, and enquired about the SIP too. Wish I could do all three and have a great year.

Man – Kind

There are lots of chat shows these days on road rage, terrorism, divorce blah blah blah… chaired by the intellectuals of urban India and some 50 mute participants. At the end of the show, all will raise their hands in consent for “MAN – KIND.” The moment lights gets off people watching it and the so-called intellectuals will become the famous three monkeys.

In the fast paced urban life, I have never seen anybody stopping their vehicle to help the elderly to cross their road or helping a break down vehicle. All of them will roll up their windows to enjoy the music and the power of AC in the car. Everyone including me does the same.

Last week on our pilgrimage to sabarimala, the driver banged the car on a huge stone kept by some lorry cleaner to move his loaded lorry on a steep rise. The guy moved on leaving the stone behind. I heard a bang underneath and realized something serious would have happened. We got out of the car and saw diesel flowing from the tank like water from an open pipe. I was damn irritated for being in the middle of a highway at nine in the night with no idea about the distance to the nearest town and clueless how to rectify. I was furious with the guy who had kept the stone there to the extent that the next day another news would have come in NDTV on road rage.

All who traveled being managers in reputed company all we could do was serious analysis on the situation and plans on path forward. Before we could finalize on the action plan couple of tough looking guys jumped from a jeep and rushed to us. Seeing their approach, I thought they are some dacoits and they will loot us. To my surprise, they sympathized with us on the situation and checked the leakage from the tank. They suggested us to drive the car to the nearest town that is 10kms away and check for feasibility in terms of welding the tank. They followed us until the nearest mechanic shop and on the way they have called up another mechanic to be ready for helping us. We were lucky enough to get the trouble sorted out in the first shop itself. The driver of the jeep called me 3 times and his dad called me once to enquire about the status and to know whether they could be of any help. Such a move floored me and I thought “MAN-KIND” is still there with people and only we urban honchos lack it. The mechanic took four full hours to rectify it and charged us only 350 bucks.

We moved from these villages to metros and we loose the heart to help each other. It is just that we should look out for helping others and not only seeking help. Close the windows to enjoy the AC but open the door of your mind to bring in happiness to others. Bring a smile on others face. Mankind will definitely live for another million years.